I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
