My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
