I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
