no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize