i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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