fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
