ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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