My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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