I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
