I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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