I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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