She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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