I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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