We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
