i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
