We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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