No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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