hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
