You can't motorboat a personality
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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