How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
