is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
