did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize