Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Come see our sink grown plant.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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