It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.