Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
