I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver