every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
