Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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