i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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