remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
