btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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