using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
