just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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