Pappa wants mamma naked
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
