I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Did I show you my penis last night?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
