woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize