hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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