If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
