If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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