I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
