He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
