ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
