My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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