need another drink. this is the easiest way
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
