The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
