I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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