you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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