Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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