spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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