I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
