you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize