i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.