remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.