If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.