So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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