Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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