I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
