I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
