I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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