Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
