I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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