is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
