i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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