just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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