She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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