I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
