im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
