She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
