Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
