Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize