Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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