I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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