Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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