i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize