Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
